I think too much about everything.
About my hair, my appearance, my grades, my future, my relationships, my health, my life; everything.
It just seems so normal to me to be worrying about something; stress is a usual occurrence inside my head. People always tell me that we have no control over what happens tomorrow, that we should just think in the now. But that doesn't make sense to me-- everything I do today has an effect on what happens tomorrow, what happens next week, and what happens next year.
So, naturally, I think too much about everything.
And because I think too much about everything, sometimes thoughts and desires that make so much sense in my head can get blown out of proportion very quickly.
That means I tend to fantasize. A lot.
I fantasize over college, over falling in love, over my wedding, over my future children, over my career. When you want something so badly, fantasizing over it just seems so natural, so routine.
But fantasizing over something too much can get out-of-hand fast. It makes so much sense in your head that you think it has become reality, if that makes sense. This is dangerous. Because dreams in our heads don't always translate into realities.
Everything is supposed to happen for a reason, really. So if we stop thinking so much about what we want in life, and instead, just live our lives, it might just turn out to be all right. Because maybe, once we let go of our fantasies and face realities, things might just fall into place when we least expect it. The universe likes to surprise us.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Monday, June 10, 2013
Perfection
Why do we always strive to be perfect? We want to be the best of the best, la crème de la crème. We want to be impeccable. We want to have perfect families, we want to go to perfect schools, we want to be perfect people.
When your shoes are perfect, they fit you just right and they feel so good. When your schoolwork is perfect, all the teachers smile at you and you know you are smart. When your friends are perfect, they support you when you need it and they make you laugh when you need it. When your life is perfect, you feel like you are on top of the world.
But life wasn't made to be perfect. We are supposed to make mistakes, and mistakes sure aren't perfect. Steps in the wrong direction should lead us to the right direction. Wrongdoings teach us important feelings like remorse and regret and sorrow and compunction and shame. Imperfections strengthen us. Because no one on this earth is perfect. No one.
And yet, the idea of perfection remains appealing. We think of an ideal life in our heads and these images of perfection can't seem to be shaken, no matter how many times we tell ourselves that nobody is flawless. And even though life isn't really meant to be perfect, we can't help but wish it was.
Why?
Because when the idea of something seems so perfect, it's hard to let it go.
When your shoes are perfect, they fit you just right and they feel so good. When your schoolwork is perfect, all the teachers smile at you and you know you are smart. When your friends are perfect, they support you when you need it and they make you laugh when you need it. When your life is perfect, you feel like you are on top of the world.
But life wasn't made to be perfect. We are supposed to make mistakes, and mistakes sure aren't perfect. Steps in the wrong direction should lead us to the right direction. Wrongdoings teach us important feelings like remorse and regret and sorrow and compunction and shame. Imperfections strengthen us. Because no one on this earth is perfect. No one.
And yet, the idea of perfection remains appealing. We think of an ideal life in our heads and these images of perfection can't seem to be shaken, no matter how many times we tell ourselves that nobody is flawless. And even though life isn't really meant to be perfect, we can't help but wish it was.
Why?
Because when the idea of something seems so perfect, it's hard to let it go.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Rain
The rain starts with
a drizzle.
And it drizzles,
and drizzles,
and drizzles.
A thunder crack here,
A thunder crack there.
And then the sky splits
and the rain comes pouring
down, down, down.
Tears are the same.
They start with
a drop.
Another drop here,
Another drop there.
And then your mind breaks
and the tears come pouring
down, down, down.
Raining, crying--
they're basically the
same.
During the storm,
during the tears,
it's ugly.
But after the storm
and after the crying,
you realize that
that the rain has made
the Earth stronger, and
you realize that the
tears have made
you stronger.
Rain and tears cleanse us of
all the ugly things
on Earth, and leave
us with beauty, like
flowers and rainbows
and smiles.
And that's why storms are
good.
That's why crying is
good.
a drizzle.
And it drizzles,
and drizzles,
and drizzles.
A thunder crack here,
A thunder crack there.
And then the sky splits
and the rain comes pouring
down, down, down.
Tears are the same.
They start with
a drop.
Another drop here,
Another drop there.
And then your mind breaks
and the tears come pouring
down, down, down.
Raining, crying--
they're basically the
same.
During the storm,
during the tears,
it's ugly.
But after the storm
and after the crying,
you realize that
that the rain has made
the Earth stronger, and
you realize that the
tears have made
you stronger.
Rain and tears cleanse us of
all the ugly things
on Earth, and leave
us with beauty, like
flowers and rainbows
and smiles.
And that's why storms are
good.
That's why crying is
good.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Last Days
What would you do if you were told you only had a few months to live?
What would you do when you realized that you are going to die and it's going to be soon?
What would you do if, when you were told that you're going to die soon, you were only 17?
I mean, that only happens in John Green novels, right?
Wrong.
Enter Zach Sobiech. When Zach was 14, he was diagnosed with a rare form of bone cancer called osteosarcoma. After a couple of surgeries and chemotherapy treatments, Zach, at the age of 17, was told that he only had a few months to live.
Imagine what that would be like. Imagine how it would feel to know that you're going to die soon. I mean, everyone dies. But Zach knew for sure that he wasn't going to have a future. He knew that he probably wasn't going to graduate high school and he knew for a fact that he wasn't going to go to college.
So naturally, he became depressed and sullen and scared, wondering when it was going to happen, right?
Wrong.
Zach decided to live his last days to the fullest. So what did he do? He turned to music- he turned to the only way he knew how to express his feelings about eventually leaving this earth and the only way he could get closure. This is his song.
Each one of his last days on Earth, Zach lived his life with utter happiness and utter bliss creating his music. His family grew closer. He had so much love. He was living the way he wanted.
Zach died yesterday on May 20th, just like the doctors said he would. But he was okay with it, he had closure. He had had everything he wanted in life. But he left an impact on us all.
We can't just keep sitting there with no purpose, with no drive. Zach has taught us that we have to live our lives now, because we never know when it's going to be too late. He has taught us that we need to show the people we love that we love them. He has taught us that "a day without laughter is a day wasted". He has taught us not to hesitate with happiness.
These are the last days of our lives. It's not morbid-- we all have a start and we all have an end. After we have our first day on Earth, the rest of our lives are filled with our last days. So make your last days full of life, full of vitality, full of laughter. That's the legacy that Zach left us.
We need to make sure that life doesn't get the best of us, and instead make sure to get the best out of life. It's what Zach would've wanted.
Please take the time to watch this. You won't regret it.
Zach's story.
What would you do when you realized that you are going to die and it's going to be soon?
What would you do if, when you were told that you're going to die soon, you were only 17?
I mean, that only happens in John Green novels, right?
Wrong.
Enter Zach Sobiech. When Zach was 14, he was diagnosed with a rare form of bone cancer called osteosarcoma. After a couple of surgeries and chemotherapy treatments, Zach, at the age of 17, was told that he only had a few months to live.
Imagine what that would be like. Imagine how it would feel to know that you're going to die soon. I mean, everyone dies. But Zach knew for sure that he wasn't going to have a future. He knew that he probably wasn't going to graduate high school and he knew for a fact that he wasn't going to go to college.
So naturally, he became depressed and sullen and scared, wondering when it was going to happen, right?
Wrong.
Zach decided to live his last days to the fullest. So what did he do? He turned to music- he turned to the only way he knew how to express his feelings about eventually leaving this earth and the only way he could get closure. This is his song.
Each one of his last days on Earth, Zach lived his life with utter happiness and utter bliss creating his music. His family grew closer. He had so much love. He was living the way he wanted.
Zach died yesterday on May 20th, just like the doctors said he would. But he was okay with it, he had closure. He had had everything he wanted in life. But he left an impact on us all.
We can't just keep sitting there with no purpose, with no drive. Zach has taught us that we have to live our lives now, because we never know when it's going to be too late. He has taught us that we need to show the people we love that we love them. He has taught us that "a day without laughter is a day wasted". He has taught us not to hesitate with happiness.
These are the last days of our lives. It's not morbid-- we all have a start and we all have an end. After we have our first day on Earth, the rest of our lives are filled with our last days. So make your last days full of life, full of vitality, full of laughter. That's the legacy that Zach left us.
We need to make sure that life doesn't get the best of us, and instead make sure to get the best out of life. It's what Zach would've wanted.
Please take the time to watch this. You won't regret it.
Zach's story.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Have you ever?
Have you ever wanted something so much that you wish you could scream it on the top of the mountain so the world could hear you but then when you think about it you don't want to embarrass yourself by telling people so you just stay quiet and don't tell anyone? And then you keep it inside your heart and your heart gets hungrier and hungrier and it wants more and more. But then you realize you can't do anything about it?
Have you ever wished for something so much that you constantly question why you don't have it already and why other people have it and you don't? And then you write about it in your journal all of the time and wish and wish that it comes true, but it never does? And you wish even more and it still doesn't come true and then you're sad and you ask why? But then you realize you can't do anything about it?
Have you ever thought about something so much that it's weird when you aren't thinking about it because it seems so normal to be thinking about life or dreams or happiness or the future all of the time? And then your brain gets so jumbled up when you think about life or dreams or happiness or the future that you can't think of anything else but that's okay because sometimes thinking about life or dreams or happiness or the future lets you escape from the present? But then you realize you can't do anything about it?
Have you ever prayed for something so much that when it isn't answered you wonder why or you wonder if God maybe forgot about you for a second, but then you remember that everything is supposed to happen for a reason even though sometimes that seems hard to believe? And then you pray some more because you really want God to notice you this time and answer your prayers? But then you realize you can't do anything about it?
Yeah, me too.
Have you ever wished for something so much that you constantly question why you don't have it already and why other people have it and you don't? And then you write about it in your journal all of the time and wish and wish that it comes true, but it never does? And you wish even more and it still doesn't come true and then you're sad and you ask why? But then you realize you can't do anything about it?
Have you ever thought about something so much that it's weird when you aren't thinking about it because it seems so normal to be thinking about life or dreams or happiness or the future all of the time? And then your brain gets so jumbled up when you think about life or dreams or happiness or the future that you can't think of anything else but that's okay because sometimes thinking about life or dreams or happiness or the future lets you escape from the present? But then you realize you can't do anything about it?
Have you ever prayed for something so much that when it isn't answered you wonder why or you wonder if God maybe forgot about you for a second, but then you remember that everything is supposed to happen for a reason even though sometimes that seems hard to believe? And then you pray some more because you really want God to notice you this time and answer your prayers? But then you realize you can't do anything about it?
Yeah, me too.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Stuffed Imagination
It is her everything. She sleeps with it in her arms, she dresses it up, she has tea parties with it, she takes it for walks in her play-stroller. When her mom helps her make her bed every morning, they place it right in the middle, so everyone can admire it. It is her best friend. She doesn't go anywhere without it.
It is soft, worn, gentile, comfortable. Its plastic eyes are cracked; its plastic nose feels like a soft pearl. It is loved beyond belief.
It is her teddy bear--it is her lovey. With her teddy bear, she opens up a whole world of imagination-- a world known as childhood.
But as she grows older, she starts to leave it at home sometimes, and doesn't dress it up anymore or take it for walks, and she has become 'too sophisticated' to sleep with it nestled in her arms. She is embarrassed at what other people might say if they see it sitting in the middle of her bed.
And as she grows even older, she shoves it in the back of her closet, covering it up with old sweatshirts and socks. And now it is unwanted, unloved, unappreciated. It is retired. It sits, neglected, and the girl doesn't even think about it anymore. She is too busy with life to care for it again like she once did.
And the teddy bear is forgotten.
And then we realize that childhood doesn't last forever.
At some point in time, you have to grow up. You have to go to school, you have to get good grades, and you have to get into a good college. And then you have to get a good job.
When we grow up, we become obsessed with perfection, obsessed with success, obsessed with the material world. We become obsessed numbers and letters, not vivid colors or stars or animals or flowers. Our imaginations are gone, away, missing.
But just because our imaginations are missing doesn't mean we can't find them.
In my French class, we're reading a book called Le Petit Prince (the Little Prince) by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. This book is about a little prince who leaves his planet in the solar system to visit other planets to find new friends after a bad experience with a flower. Throughout the book, he experiences frustration with adults (les grandes personnes) because all they care about are numbers and serious things. The little prince likes to imagine-- he likes to look at sunsets and stars, flowers and volcanoes.
Once he lands on Earth, he meets a fox who tells him something very important, a saying that I think is beautiful:
"On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux."
(You can only see clearly with the heart. What is truly important is invisible to the eyes.)
So who cares if we're not 'children' anymore? Go wherever your heart takes you to find your missing imagination, and if that's to a dusty stuffed teddy bear that's quite possibly flattened under a pile of clothes, then so be it.
But as she grows older, she starts to leave it at home sometimes, and doesn't dress it up anymore or take it for walks, and she has become 'too sophisticated' to sleep with it nestled in her arms. She is embarrassed at what other people might say if they see it sitting in the middle of her bed.
And as she grows even older, she shoves it in the back of her closet, covering it up with old sweatshirts and socks. And now it is unwanted, unloved, unappreciated. It is retired. It sits, neglected, and the girl doesn't even think about it anymore. She is too busy with life to care for it again like she once did.
And the teddy bear is forgotten.
And then we realize that childhood doesn't last forever.
At some point in time, you have to grow up. You have to go to school, you have to get good grades, and you have to get into a good college. And then you have to get a good job.
When we grow up, we become obsessed with perfection, obsessed with success, obsessed with the material world. We become obsessed numbers and letters, not vivid colors or stars or animals or flowers. Our imaginations are gone, away, missing.
But just because our imaginations are missing doesn't mean we can't find them.
In my French class, we're reading a book called Le Petit Prince (the Little Prince) by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. This book is about a little prince who leaves his planet in the solar system to visit other planets to find new friends after a bad experience with a flower. Throughout the book, he experiences frustration with adults (les grandes personnes) because all they care about are numbers and serious things. The little prince likes to imagine-- he likes to look at sunsets and stars, flowers and volcanoes.
Once he lands on Earth, he meets a fox who tells him something very important, a saying that I think is beautiful:
"On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux."
(You can only see clearly with the heart. What is truly important is invisible to the eyes.)
So who cares if we're not 'children' anymore? Go wherever your heart takes you to find your missing imagination, and if that's to a dusty stuffed teddy bear that's quite possibly flattened under a pile of clothes, then so be it.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Summer
When will it be summer again?
It's February. I know.
Believe me.
I. Know. The three calendars (don't ask me why I have three calendars because I don't know myself) I have tacked up in my room keep shouting at me "HAHA IT'S ONLY FEBRUARY YOU STILL HAVE SCHOOL HAHA." Which upsets me.
It's only February. Summer is-- let's count, March (one), April (two), May (three), June (four)-- four months away. Four. I don't think I can stand it much longer.
Why?
Why do kids like us want summer to come oh-so-badly?
F r e e d o m.
During the school year, I have so much stress about everything. Not saying that I absolutely hate school, it's just a lot of work to get done in a short amount of time. During the school year I always find myself checking the clock constantly, wishing there were more hours in the day to finish all my work, but at the same time wishing there were less so I can get to summer already.
Because during the summer, I'm free. I'm happy. Filled with pure happiness.
Because happiness means no school, no homework, no rules.
It means driving (shout out to April because that's when I will get my license), tropical sno, mango sorbet from Tasty Treat, reading, theatre, camp in Cali, Michigan, flip flops, tank tops, lemonade, tans (even though I'm as pale as a sheet so that doesn't really work out on me), taking artsy pictures, artsing and crafting, lazy days on spent on Netflix, baking, Chicago, beaches, swimsuits, short shorts, bike rides, dog walks, braids, messy buns, water bottles, movie nights, painting nails, sunscreen, sunglasses, air conditioning, bonfires, grilling, and family.
It means no worries. It means no stress. It means smiles.
So for now, as winter drags on and on and on and on, as you dive into that daunting homework assignment, just keep in mind that summer is almost just around the corner. It's four months. We can do it. I promise. Pinky promise.
And anything that is worry-free, stress-free, and smile-full, is my kinda deal. Anything that good is worth waiting for.
It's February. I know.
Believe me.
I. Know. The three calendars (don't ask me why I have three calendars because I don't know myself) I have tacked up in my room keep shouting at me "HAHA IT'S ONLY FEBRUARY YOU STILL HAVE SCHOOL HAHA." Which upsets me.
It's only February. Summer is-- let's count, March (one), April (two), May (three), June (four)-- four months away. Four. I don't think I can stand it much longer.
Why?
Why do kids like us want summer to come oh-so-badly?
F r e e d o m.
During the school year, I have so much stress about everything. Not saying that I absolutely hate school, it's just a lot of work to get done in a short amount of time. During the school year I always find myself checking the clock constantly, wishing there were more hours in the day to finish all my work, but at the same time wishing there were less so I can get to summer already.
Because during the summer, I'm free. I'm happy. Filled with pure happiness.
Because happiness means no school, no homework, no rules.
It means driving (shout out to April because that's when I will get my license), tropical sno, mango sorbet from Tasty Treat, reading, theatre, camp in Cali, Michigan, flip flops, tank tops, lemonade, tans (even though I'm as pale as a sheet so that doesn't really work out on me), taking artsy pictures, artsing and crafting, lazy days on spent on Netflix, baking, Chicago, beaches, swimsuits, short shorts, bike rides, dog walks, braids, messy buns, water bottles, movie nights, painting nails, sunscreen, sunglasses, air conditioning, bonfires, grilling, and family.
It means no worries. It means no stress. It means smiles.
So for now, as winter drags on and on and on and on, as you dive into that daunting homework assignment, just keep in mind that summer is almost just around the corner. It's four months. We can do it. I promise. Pinky promise.
And anything that is worry-free, stress-free, and smile-full, is my kinda deal. Anything that good is worth waiting for.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Contemplating Anticipation
It's everywhere,
In my head. In my heart.
In my fingers and my toes,
My stomach and my nose.
Anticipation.
It's that feeling you get
When you're excited for something
New,
Fun,
Amazing, or
Unimaginable.
It's that feeling you get
When you're nervous for something
Like a test
A lab,
A paper, or
A project.
It can be good.
It can be bad.
Sometimes in between.
It really just
D e p e n d s
On you.
See, I get nervous about
A lot of things.
Like school.
So, in a way,
That's anticipation.
But.
Other times,
Anticipation can be seen
In happy times
Like summer.
Summer: long nights,
Sunlight,
Camp,
And most of all,
No homework.
So, in a way,
That's anticipation.
Whether it be good,
Whether it be bad.
Whether it be dynamic,
Whether it be static,
Just know this:
Anticipation is good.
It means that you care.
It means that you care a lot
About life
And about your future.
Anticipation means you're ready.
You're ready for the world
To throw whatever it has at you.
It means that you're ready
To start your future.
It means you're up for the challenge.
Whether it be good, or
Whether it be bad,
It's everywhere.
In my head. In my heart.
In my fingers and my toes,
My stomach and my nose.
Anticipation.
It's that feeling you get
When you're excited for something
New,
Fun,
Amazing, or
Unimaginable.
It's that feeling you get
When you're nervous for something
Like a test
A lab,
A paper, or
A project.
It can be good.
It can be bad.
Sometimes in between.
It really just
D e p e n d s
On you.
See, I get nervous about
A lot of things.
Like school.
So, in a way,
That's anticipation.
But.
Other times,
Anticipation can be seen
In happy times
Like summer.
Summer: long nights,
Sunlight,
Camp,
And most of all,
No homework.
So, in a way,
That's anticipation.
Whether it be good,
Whether it be bad.
Whether it be dynamic,
Whether it be static,
Just know this:
Anticipation is good.
It means that you care.
It means that you care a lot
About life
And about your future.
Anticipation means you're ready.
You're ready for the world
To throw whatever it has at you.
It means that you're ready
To start your future.
It means you're up for the challenge.
Whether it be good, or
Whether it be bad,
It's everywhere.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Shoes
I fell in love today
with a pair of shoes.
I know, I know. Shameful.
But it happened. And it can't be denied. What is, is.
You see, today my mother and I went shopping at TJ Maxx, Ulta, and DSW. Over at good ol' TJ's, I got a mint sweater, a tied tank top sort of thing, and a peplum tank top to wear for a party. And then we went to Ulta so I could get some eos lip balm, mint yet again. And then. And then and then and then. We made our way over to DSW.
I didn't see them at first, the shoes. I gravitated towards the heels and such, tried on a mint pair (can you tell that I like mint?), then went to the sale section. Bah. Nothing was there. But then. Then I perused my way on over towards the boots section. Thank the Lord I did. Sitting on a shelf, there they were. My shoes. Well, booties to be completely accurate.
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So I took them off the shelf, you see. And I grabbed a 5 1/2 even though I'm usually a size 6, but the 5 1/2s seemed right. And then I tried them on. Boy oh boy oh boy. Perfection. Love at first sight. But really. I am completely in love with these booties.
I know it's really bad that money bought my happiness today. But secretly, I don't care. I know the money I spent on my soulmate shoes could've gone towards a better cause. But I needed this. I really, really, really needed this bout of happiness today.
.JPG)
Last week was hell week.
Excuse me.
Last week was finals week. I studied so much for so long. I needed a pick-me-up. Enter these shoes. They make me feel stylish and pretty, happy and fun. Weirdly, they make me forget about my stress over school and let me live life. Judge me all you want but these shoes make me feel so good. Everyone should find something that makes them feel like this. It's one of the best feelings in a world. It's embarrassing to say it, but I really am in love with these shoes.
So there you have it. I'm just simply enamored.
"I'M IN LOVE, I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT."
with a pair of shoes.
I know, I know. Shameful.
But it happened. And it can't be denied. What is, is.
You see, today my mother and I went shopping at TJ Maxx, Ulta, and DSW. Over at good ol' TJ's, I got a mint sweater, a tied tank top sort of thing, and a peplum tank top to wear for a party. And then we went to Ulta so I could get some eos lip balm, mint yet again. And then. And then and then and then. We made our way over to DSW.
I didn't see them at first, the shoes. I gravitated towards the heels and such, tried on a mint pair (can you tell that I like mint?), then went to the sale section. Bah. Nothing was there. But then. Then I perused my way on over towards the boots section. Thank the Lord I did. Sitting on a shelf, there they were. My shoes. Well, booties to be completely accurate.
.JPG)
I know it's really bad that money bought my happiness today. But secretly, I don't care. I know the money I spent on my soulmate shoes could've gone towards a better cause. But I needed this. I really, really, really needed this bout of happiness today.
.JPG)
Last week was hell week.
Excuse me.
Last week was finals week. I studied so much for so long. I needed a pick-me-up. Enter these shoes. They make me feel stylish and pretty, happy and fun. Weirdly, they make me forget about my stress over school and let me live life. Judge me all you want but these shoes make me feel so good. Everyone should find something that makes them feel like this. It's one of the best feelings in a world. It's embarrassing to say it, but I really am in love with these shoes.
So there you have it. I'm just simply enamored.
"I'M IN LOVE, I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT."
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Origins
Tuesday marks the beginning of hell finals week. So I thought a nice, long flow of thoughts would be appropriate for this post as a little stress reliever. No editing. No rewrites. If you don't want to read my random thoughts, then it's all good, it's cool, you can politely leave right now. I promise I won't notice. I don't really care anyways. Just a warning, I don't know what's to come on this post, so be ready for anything.
Which gets me thinking. Okay, buckle up your seat belts kids, we're on the move!
I am so sorry for the cheeseball statement. I will never ever ever (anyone just sing those three words to TaySwift's song? No? Just me..?) do something like that again. Promise. Girl Scouts Honor. Crap I just did it again. I guess y'all are gonna have to deal with me. #sorrynotsorry (I apologize for using a hashtag on here but I told myself no editing this so now I can't take it out... I'm not that weird, promise)
Any who.
Why did I start this blog back in September in the first place? Well, the obvious reason is that I was working on my first article for Central's newsmagazine, the Devil's Advocate (pretty creative name, huh?) and I was given the topic of blogs and how they may be becoming more popular than tried and true FaceSpace. Oh shoot. Or was it MyBook? Nah that doesn't sound right either... Facebook. Yeah. That little thing.
So anyways I was writing this puppy and interviewing some people about their blogs and such and writing some more and then some editing and then I turned in my rough draft. And then I realized. Hey. I think I might like to start a blog of my own. And then I lived happily ever after. In a castle with just me and my computer, writing blog post after blog post without a care in the world.
Okay, that last part didn't exactly happen. Shh. Haven't you ever heard that writers sometimes like to stretch the truth? Yeah? Okay.
I digress.
So I logged onto blogger.com and I made my account. And then I looked out the window and the wind was blowing in the trees and I thought it seems like the wind has something to say every single time it blows. It's like they have their own secrets and we'll never know what they are. Hence the name of my blog, which I should probably type here but I really don't feel like it so I won't because this is my blog and I can do whatever I want. So take that. Ha. And eventually there will be a post about that and secrets and stuff but that takes a lot of thinking and I don't have the mental capacity to do that right now.
But is there a deeper reason for this virtual journal? Yes.
I want to get myself out there. I want to be a writer, a journalist, an editor. Something to do with writing. Just something. Anything.
And I have to start somewhere. I mean, doesn't everyone?
So I guess this is my somewhere. These posts are my origins to my something, my everything, and I couldn't be happier.
Which gets me thinking. Okay, buckle up your seat belts kids, we're on the move!
I am so sorry for the cheeseball statement. I will never ever ever (anyone just sing those three words to TaySwift's song? No? Just me..?) do something like that again. Promise. Girl Scouts Honor. Crap I just did it again. I guess y'all are gonna have to deal with me. #sorrynotsorry (I apologize for using a hashtag on here but I told myself no editing this so now I can't take it out... I'm not that weird, promise)
Any who.
Why did I start this blog back in September in the first place? Well, the obvious reason is that I was working on my first article for Central's newsmagazine, the Devil's Advocate (pretty creative name, huh?) and I was given the topic of blogs and how they may be becoming more popular than tried and true FaceSpace. Oh shoot. Or was it MyBook? Nah that doesn't sound right either... Facebook. Yeah. That little thing.
So anyways I was writing this puppy and interviewing some people about their blogs and such and writing some more and then some editing and then I turned in my rough draft. And then I realized. Hey. I think I might like to start a blog of my own. And then I lived happily ever after. In a castle with just me and my computer, writing blog post after blog post without a care in the world.
Okay, that last part didn't exactly happen. Shh. Haven't you ever heard that writers sometimes like to stretch the truth? Yeah? Okay.
I digress.
So I logged onto blogger.com and I made my account. And then I looked out the window and the wind was blowing in the trees and I thought it seems like the wind has something to say every single time it blows. It's like they have their own secrets and we'll never know what they are. Hence the name of my blog, which I should probably type here but I really don't feel like it so I won't because this is my blog and I can do whatever I want. So take that. Ha. And eventually there will be a post about that and secrets and stuff but that takes a lot of thinking and I don't have the mental capacity to do that right now.
But is there a deeper reason for this virtual journal? Yes.
I want to get myself out there. I want to be a writer, a journalist, an editor. Something to do with writing. Just something. Anything.
And I have to start somewhere. I mean, doesn't everyone?
So I guess this is my somewhere. These posts are my origins to my something, my everything, and I couldn't be happier.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
In Flew Enza
I had a little bird,
Its name was Enza.
I opened the window,
And in-flu-enza.
~Children's Skipping Rhyme, 1918
Sneeze.
Cough.
Ache.
Hurt.
Throb.
Sniffle.
Sick.
I'm sick. Couldn't you tell? My ears hurt, but I don't have an ear infection. My throat hurts, but I don't have strep. My nose is stuffed up, but I don't have a sinus infection. My head is hot, but I don't have a fever. I don't have the flu, but I still feel sick. This bought of sickness is just a normal one; it's routine. Nothing out of the ordinary.
I got sick at THE perfect time (if you didn't catch my drift, that was sarcasm). As much as the whole student population at Central wants to deny it, school comes back tomorrow morning, bright and early at 8 am. Yay. Yesterday I had my whole day scheduled out from hour-to-hour on what to study when, as finals are in a little more than a week, and I have that lovely assignment of free-hand drawing the map of Europe that makes it debut tomorrow precisely at about 2:10 pm in room 284.
But do you want to know what I did yesterday instead?
I laid in my bed under a mountain of blankets/no blankets at times because I was hot and cold off and on and shamelessly watched two-too-many episodes of one of my favorites Gossip Girl on Netflix. Needless to say I finished Season 5 without any difficulties. I also probably finished a couple bags of Ricola Honey Lemon Cough Drops all by myself and painstakingly choked down some vile doses of Robitussin while I was at it.
I should be ashamed at myself because I really didn't study yesterday, which is quite an alarming thought. I have so much to do! I have to study for Trig and French and Chem and English and AP Euro and go ham on practicing this map.
But now that I think of it, this sick-bought came at a really great time.
Before yesterday, I was stressing over my map way too much; I was stressing over finals way too much already; I was stressing over school way too much. But lying in bed yesterday, taking a two-hour nap gave me a chance to take a breath and relax before I go back to the
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Little Birdie Enza did me a huge favor.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Lights
Yesterday, like we always do, my family and I went to Chicago for NYE. We've been doing this ever since I can remember and we stay at different hotels each year such as the Sheraton, Embassy Suites, the Intercontinental, and this year, the Fairmont. I've never done anything else for New Year's. I've never gone to any parties with my friends; I always spend this holiday with the fam.
Our little one day trip this year including lunch at Flat Top Grill, shopping at Northbridge, cupcakes (vegan and gluten free chocolate peanut butter, might I add) from Swirlz Cupcakes, freezing half to death, Zoo Lights and the Lincoln Park Zoo, dinner at Heaven on Seven, seeing the movie Guilt Trip with Barbara Streisand, chilling at the hotel watching Gossip Girl, and finally watching the fireworks once the clock rang in the new year.
I had fun this year because I brought my lovely new Canon Rebel T3 camera along. I got to playing around with the manual (M) setting while we were at Zoo Lights and during the fireworks, and well, this picture to the right happened. Well, let me rephrase that. A lot of pictures like the ones you see on the left happened, but I edited them down to my favorites and then made a collage out of them. Good thing, too, because I've had my camera for a week and I've already taken almost 2,000 pictures....
Moving on.
Looking at these pictures here makes me feel happy because I took a picture (okay, picturessssss) that goes beyond just clicking the button on the camera (aka the shutter button). They're "artsy", if you must. I do have to give credit to my sister and my friends and my photo teacher for teaching me how to take pictures like this, though.
Anywhoo. My point.
These pictures go beyond everyday. They define me as a photographer. I care about the art of photography. (Okay, that sounded really cheesy and dumb. Don't judge me, I'm normal, I promise.) I care about my pictures and I'm happy when they turn out well. These pictures of the lights just make me want to take more and more pictures. I'm sure all my Facebook friends will love me for adding a billion new pictures every week, but I don't really care! Photography makes me happy, and I'm gonna do stuff that makes me feel good. Simple enough, really.
So sorry. My actual point:
With the new year (woohoo 2013!) starting today, I'm sure you all have made your New Year's Resolutions and goals and whatnot. Much like my pictures of the lights, you have to 'choose' a resolution that defines you, that makes you into a better person, one that you can actually achieve. Something that will eventually make you happy. What's the point in setting a goal for yourself that you know won't do or making yourself do something that you don't like? Don't try to become someone else.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that when you're thinking of how to better yourself during 2013, don't try to shape yourself into someone who you're not. Sure, you can aspire to lose that weight, to eat healthier, to do better in school. But don't wish too much or too big, or you'll change who you are. Be true to you!
As for me, this year I don't really have a so-called 'resolution'. For now, I'll just stick with the lights.
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